Birthdays

So Sunday is my friend Roxanne's birthday. She will be 39. Again. Hey, whatever works for her. So I got the brilliant idea to throw her a surprise party. I figured I would do it the day before and then she really would be surprised. The problem though is that she just doesn't have enough friends to make it a really satisfying party. So it will be a few people showing up and surprising her at dinner time. Hey, you gotta work with what you have.
And me being me, I have made more food then necessary but I love the cooking part. Chicken Chile Verde, some 2 alarm Chili (no beans though, of course), northern and southern cornbread and Red Velvet Cake with cream cheese icing.
Myself, I will be 41 next week. And it isn't the age thing that is really getting to me. It's where I am in my life. I'm sure there are people out there who have accomplished all they have set out to accomplish. But I haven't met any of them. Nor have I met anyone who is truly happy with the way their life has turned out. We are set up to expect to be happy and satisfied and for the most part we are not.
I keep setting mandates for myself that I will stop complaining so much and try to be more satisfied with what I have. After all, there are children starving in Albania. Or Darfur or wherever it is these days.
I don't want to chase the all mighty dollar. But it would be nice to have a few more. But it is very satisfying when my two youngest kids give me big sticky hugs and tell me they love me. I do wish I could just pull out my checkbook and give my oldest daughter the wedding of her dreams. But then I also wish I could hug her a lot more often too.
My birthday present to myself is to try and want more and be happy with less. Maybe if I want things a little more, I may try a little harder. But most of all I don't want to be that girl who whines all the time. I made it through Basic Training in the US Army, I can make it through anything. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. And suck it up and drive on....