All right, so there have been no shocking revelations or mysteries solved to date on my blog. I am still trying to decide how much of myself I am willing to put out there and still trying to get enough sleep to be able to piece together something coherent.
I have been a lot of places, met a lot of people (married a number of them...), had a few kids, and held numerous jobs. I have gone back to school more times than I can count and have yet to find a job that interests me. I have been told that I have a low threshold for boredom. I'll buy that. I have also been told that I have the attention span of a gnat. Now I'm not sure if that's entirely true but I will admit to having a problem with follow through. As the several marriages attest, I have no problem with commitment. It's the follow through. And once the boredom kicks in...then the short attention span follows right behind.
So, I just need to perhaps commit a little less and follow through a little more. I'm not sure what exactly that means but I am determined to find out. So I know I promised some insights into me and my life and have yet to follow through on that but never fear. Stay with me and I will start to show my hand. Several people have expressed their shock at my willingness to expose my private life. Several people have commented on the stupidity of it. And then there are the people who are trying to figure out how I got here and what I'm going to do about it.
Give it time people. Just give it time. Oh, and if you have suggestions, comments or questions about anything here, just leave a post. It will keep things more relevant and it will be tougher for me to dodge the tough questions. If you just email me, I may answer but I may not feel any obligation to share those answers. But it's up to you...
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
coffee
what did we do before coffee? seriously, I do not know how moms (or dads) can get through the morning without some form of caffeine. I know when my kids wake up before 7am, I am not ready to face the day until I've had at least one cup of caffeinated goodness.
When Ashley was born, coffee wasn't as big a deal for me. She slept through the night at 8 weeks, I think mostly thanks to my mother's rigid scheduling more than any influence from me. And I was only a teenager. I still had limitless energy. And while I grew up in Washington, which seems to be one of the coffee drinking capitals of the country, my folks didn't really drink coffee.
But now at age 40, coffee is a necessity. Kai didn't sleep through the night until he was 2 1/2 years old. Kate turned 2 in October and still isn't sleeping through the night. So I honestly haven't had a good nights sleep in over 5 years. 5 whole years. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Kate has decided to give up her nap so I am hoping that will translate to better sleep at night. She is sure going to bed easier--she's exhausted. But then so am I.
Kids are the best. But they are better when you've had your morning (and afternoon) java.
When Ashley was born, coffee wasn't as big a deal for me. She slept through the night at 8 weeks, I think mostly thanks to my mother's rigid scheduling more than any influence from me. And I was only a teenager. I still had limitless energy. And while I grew up in Washington, which seems to be one of the coffee drinking capitals of the country, my folks didn't really drink coffee.
But now at age 40, coffee is a necessity. Kai didn't sleep through the night until he was 2 1/2 years old. Kate turned 2 in October and still isn't sleeping through the night. So I honestly haven't had a good nights sleep in over 5 years. 5 whole years. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Kate has decided to give up her nap so I am hoping that will translate to better sleep at night. She is sure going to bed easier--she's exhausted. But then so am I.
Kids are the best. But they are better when you've had your morning (and afternoon) java.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
kids
So every day with kids brings new adventures. One day they are just little babies lying on a blanket, and the next day they are climbing up your bookshelves like little monkeys. And then when you blink, they are engaged to be married. When you have kids really young, you take a lot of things for granted. You just assume that your kids will do what they should. That they will meet their milestones and what not.
As you get older, you realize that you can't leave quite so much to chance. You watch. You hover. You worry. You compare. You research. And the more you know, the more you worry.
Before the internet, you could only research so much. You couldn't spend all day at the library. Now, you can stay up all night looking up every little symptom. Before the internet, you just took the prescription from the doctor and took him at his word. Now we look up every last thing and end up with even more to worry about.
Kids are great and I would recommend to everyone that you should have at least a couple. But it's hard. And you will make mistakes. And you can't just erase them like on a test. This is real life. And they remember. You may not think they do, but they remember everything. And not necessarily the same way that you remember things either. So just keep in mind, it will all come back at you someday. They grow up and move away, but they are still your kids. And what you do shapes them. For good or bad, it does. And as parents, we need to remember that more.
As you get older, you realize that you can't leave quite so much to chance. You watch. You hover. You worry. You compare. You research. And the more you know, the more you worry.
Before the internet, you could only research so much. You couldn't spend all day at the library. Now, you can stay up all night looking up every little symptom. Before the internet, you just took the prescription from the doctor and took him at his word. Now we look up every last thing and end up with even more to worry about.
Kids are great and I would recommend to everyone that you should have at least a couple. But it's hard. And you will make mistakes. And you can't just erase them like on a test. This is real life. And they remember. You may not think they do, but they remember everything. And not necessarily the same way that you remember things either. So just keep in mind, it will all come back at you someday. They grow up and move away, but they are still your kids. And what you do shapes them. For good or bad, it does. And as parents, we need to remember that more.
Monday, January 7, 2008
day in and day out
So I decided that like everyone else out there that it was time for me to document my journeys. I decided that it was time for me to finally express myself and put myself out there for all to see. For those who know me, you might learn something new about me. For those who don't, you'll have someone else's foibles to amuse you.
I am human and have made more than my share of mistakes. My hope is to move forward and get more out of life.
This is the story of how Carrie finally grew up at 40 (hopefully).
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